She Didn’t Lose Herself

She didn’t lose herself.

She learned who was never holding her.

There’s a difference.

Losing yourself suggests carelessness.

Weakness.

A failure to pay attention.

But that isn’t what happens most of the time.

Most of the time, a woman is still there — fully present — doing the work of loving, believing, showing up.

She is consistent. She is patient. She is trying.

What changes is not her identity.

It’s her clarity.

Clarity about effort that was never returned.

Clarity about affection that was performative.

Clarity about the quiet ways someone benefits from your presence without ever offering their own.

That realization doesn’t arrive all at once.

It settles in slowly.

It rearranges things.

And when it does, there’s no dramatic unraveling.

No loss to mourn.

Only a moment of recognition.

You weren’t missing.

You were unsupported.

And once you see that, you don’t disappear.

You stand.

—

Tether Sparks